"Bring on the Rain"

So the last few weeks since Rob left have not gone the greatest. I am trying to hold it all together and everyone has been so kind in telling me how strong I am. Thanks! But the truth is I am not strong and this is so hard. We just found out it will be Christmas before Rob can come home and the way things are going that is not set in stone. Rob is worried he made a huge career mistake and I want to tell him "no honey this is OK we are strong and we can do it" Well, this is what I tell him but in my head I think what a fool i am to think staying behind was a good idea and even if I have no friend or family in CA I would have Rob on the few days or weeks he is on land, right?! It would be nice to put Arianna to bed for once without fighting with her about why daddy is in CA and we are here and "no today he can't take a plane home, nope not tomorrow....no sweetheart he is not gone forever just for a little while... honey mom will be home in a little bit...honey I would never leave you forever....."

I say this with the utmost respect. I sort and I mean sort understand how Jesus felt when God turned His back...I mean I could NEVER really understand, but if this is just a small grain of sand feeling of what He went through WOW. THANK YOU LORD! Is all I can say.

Well, the kids are all waking from naps. I am sorry this is a not so fun post but just wanted to vent and yet don't want to talk to anyone right now.

Thanks for the prayers and for all the help with the lawn, house, babysitting, dinners, talks, and the just love that pours out over us right now..................